And Tydeus, Hercules’ über-loyal and mute companion, is the quietest yes-man around.įor ages, it seems, Hercules and his mercenary cohorts have sailed the Aegean Sea, killing enemies and collecting coin. Former Amazon huntress Atalanta serves nicely as a little extra muscle. Good-looking young nephew Iolaus? Chief public relations officer, of course-in charge of (ahem) embellishing the hero’s many exploits. Wiley old Amphiaraus, what with his strange herbs and mystical portents, serves as vice president of strategy and trends. Autolycus is his chief financial officer and snide business advisor. If you want to be a legend, the second thing you need is a team. Still, a good work ethic and biceps the size of Mini Coopers only get you so far. But give Herc a break: That’s ancient gossip. Maybe there are those stubborn rumors that he killed his wife and kids in a drunken rage. Some dirty stables need cleaning? Yeah, the guy can do that, too. He’s got more muscles than most SEC teams. He can bench-press a chariot, curl a good-sized goat. Oh, the guy’s not all just chrome and polish, mind you. The average Cretan or Athenian isn’t going to be bowled over by just any ol’ dude supposedly fathered by Zeus. The five-and-dime stores are probably full of winged sandals. There are cities and kings and wars and theatrical performances to attend to. No, it’s all hoity-toity and pre-classical now. Ancient Greece is no longer the wide-open Peloponnesus it once was. Back then, get yourself a flying horse or defeat a Minotaur and, Boom! Bards would fall all over themselves to sing your praises.īut times have changed. Perseus, Theseus and all those other Greek heroes whose names ended in “eus” did just fine for themselves, after all. Back in the day, you might’ve been able to make a heroic name for yourself with just some muscle, a little charisma and maybe a magic weapon or two.
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